6.24.2006
i feeling vry fustrated recently....sddnly i am more hot tempered then usual i am hot hot tempered! i cannot concentrate on evrything i m no difference from a guy who has no future, i dunno wat i want in life rlly want quit jc n jus go somewhere esle study something i rlly love~
but i lack courage i dun have enuff courage to leave evrything n start over agin.....
seriously i m nt tt likeable person , my family no matter wat happen they are alwas der seriously i m happy to have a family who is behind me all the way even though i m a jerk sometimes to them. i sometimes tink having a gf means i have someone to share n it would b a beautiful experience, but wat i m seeing now frm others is lk its a better choice to nt hav one......its lk unless love is 2 sided n both parites are understanding, but i still desire one jus one heart break mayb ...lol i m such a sick guy
u noe mayb wat i m looking for in life is release, release frm the restrains of life but its nt possible. cos if i dun study i cannot carve out a future for myself , if i dun have a career i wun have money.....i need someone or jus something to enlighten me, are u the one?haha but life is nt tt tough considering i am 17 n i m a slacker haha
sometimes ppl dun rlly see me as who i rlly wan them to.....yes i m sometimes a bad person who say bad things mayb most of the times! no one rlly understand the real me, no one can jus lk i cannt understand the the real u who is reading my blog nw......pls forgive me for nt letting u in to my thoughts....
today went dinner with my family, dunno y sddnly have tension over a topic.. den my sister sddnly say i m lk my dad, and my family alwas say tt cos my chinese n el horoscope is exactly the same as my dad, i was lk sddnly so angry tt i slam the chopsticks n said dun compare me with dad bcos i have the same horoscope loh....i oso dun noe y i jus sddnly feel supa pissed!!!!!!!!!
my dad is lk when i helping him at his stall he lk alwas scold me wan loh then oni when nt working then tok nicely to me.....so i rlly dun feel uncomfortable this way loh n i hate the personality of my dAd so i dun wan b lk him!!!but i oso hate myself i gues nt evryone love life , i rlly hate myself for being the person i am................
22:59
; where did I go wrong?.