10.19.2006
finally i'm here to update, today a fren told me hw gloomy i looked in sch, thx for ur concern..may!
negativity is just all over me these few weeks, i feel so wasted. I have been lk gg in n out of sch as i like, its lk i have never done these things before in my life. I feel so bad inside, but i just do it no matter wat cos i find it vry difficult to stay in sch.And the bad thoughts are jus huanting my mind !!! Its the lowest point of life now, i can't find my purpose, i dunno my goals in life and every desicion tt i rashly make is oni pulling me more towards destruction. Den pw, the pressure makes me feel so fustrated....who the hell fuck introduced PW, its lk more of a trouble den help!!!! i dunno wat i shuld do now, i noe wat's the problem but i dun want to tok abt it....i have changed in a way, even i am afraid of myself, it seems as if i have become two person, when i go to sch i dun care abt lessons n i keep quiet most of the time, only when i am at home i feel abit alive....mixed emotions causing me to go on confusion, i am perpetually on the edge of breaking down....
wat am i doin to myself???jc life was a life changing trip for me indeed....it passed so fast yet now, evry min in sch is lk a year. and i no longer wake up in the morning having the urge to go to sch anymore, deep down in my heart i noe i can promote but it seems lk i am forcing myself to becaome a another person....i cant clear my tots!!!wat am i supposed to do????
Life is a tragedy
21:55
; where did I go wrong?.